My dearest Camden and Lilian,
The first day that you both began to attend a program outside of home, I was sad to see you go. My life has revolved completely around taking care of you. While you’re not here, it still does but it has more to do with the tasks that you don’t see me do. Washing your clothing, preparing meals to make you grow big and strong, and scheduling all your events and appointments. The mundane things that you aren’t usually patient enough to let me finish.
Some might argue that you are too young to be attending preschool, that you should be home with me and not spending the day with ‘strangers’. But I disagree. Not because I don’t want you to be at home with me, because I do.
Everyday that I get you ready and take you to school, I feel so much guilt deep down. Guilty for sending you off to spend the day with others instead of me. Guilty for being mildly excited to get all the errands done by myself without having to load and unload two toddlers at every location. Guilty because you sometimes miss me and I know I miss you. You are growing up so fast and sometimes I feel like I will drop you off only to pick up a kindergartener at the end of the day.
The other end of that guilt is excitement. I feel so much excitement when I peek in the window before I come in to get you and see you playing. You have learned to make new friends and maintain those friendships each day when you return to see the same group of kids. You are learning everyday how to listen to other adults, follow rules, and take direction. I know sometimes we battle a little over those things at home because it is so easy for you to butt head with your parents. We are your safe place and you always feel comfortable letting your emotions show with us. That makes me happy, sometimes very frustrated, but also happy.
When you come home each day and tell me stories about your friends and teachers, I feel so much pride. Like I am doing the right thing by you. You are constantly surprising me with new information you have learned or skills you have acquired. Things I definitely could teach you at home, but with the hustle of so many other things – I am not always capable enough of sitting down to do it. I have shifted my attention to teaching you how to be a kind person, clean up after yourself, and to love yourself and others. These things are equally as important and are rarely taught in a school setting.
I have no issue admitting that I utilize your preschool to take on the task of teaching you things that I am not as equipped to teach. This will be the case for your entire school career. I will not be the one to teach you about the civil war, algebra, all the quirks of the english language, or how to participate in gym class. So, why not take advantage of the resources at hand now also?
Please always remember that this time away from me is for your own good, and mine. Because we spend time apart, we can miss each other and appreciate our time together. Though you are little and may not see that now. I promise one day I will make sure you understand that everything I do is calculated and well thought out, over thought if you ask your dad. All because of how much I love you.
Until then I would like to wish you Camden, a happy first day in preschool 3 and you Lilian, a happy first day in preschool 2. Please learn so many new things to come home and tell me all about. I will be here everyday to listen. I love you so much.
Love,
Mom
