allow me to reintroduce myself

Today marks the one year anniversary of this blog, my blog.

If you have been following me since the beginning you know that the name has changed not one, not two, but three times. Let’s just say it has taken me a little time to really understand what I wanted to do with this space.

The Beekeepers Tales was the start. I immediately took off blogging about motherhood, the Nordstrom sale, and relationships. With five posts in my first month and eight in the second month, I was on.

At the end of January, our family was given the opportunity to relocate closer to the hub of my husbands employer and that threw me for a loop. A really, really big loop.

I do not handle change well and if things are going to change I want them to change immediately. In this case, because we weren’t sure if we were moving I had no idea where our family would be the following month. I shut down.

From an average of seven to eight blog posts a month for eight months to a complete silence.

I did not post a single blog in February. My mind was running wild at all times with things to do, houses to look at, researching areas, and it just never ended. Until we finally realized that my husband would rather continue to commute than go through so much work to move closer.

Finally. A decision was made.

But I was still so flipped upside down. What was once my office had now become an unused room that eventually started collecting miscellaneous items. A storage room.

When I wrote my first blog post in March, explaining what had been going on, I also decided to change the brand. Welcome Queen B[arnes].

Because my husband and his previous coworkers have referred to me as Queen B, this seemed fitting. The previous name had become a bit confusing in regards to what it was actually about.

From March to May I posted six blog posts total. Still not entirely committed.

Because blogging initially started as a method of stress relief for me, a form of therapy if you will, I could feel my mental state starting to decline. I was more anxious, I was more irritable, I was more on edge.

It sounds silly to say that I was going slightly nuts purely because I wasn’t blogging, but getting out all of the things that go on inside my head had been very therapeutic for me previously.

In June, we had some new things pop up into our lives and because I didn’t have a solid way to deal with my stress – I had a pretty substantial breakdown. Days in bed, crying all day long, obsessively thinking about the same things until I drove myself to think the worst of myself and of my life. It was tough.

After a heart to heart with my (impressively patient) husband, we made a list of the things that made me feel at peace. On top of the list was blogging. The realization was made that I wanted to recommit to blogging, to the way that I was blogging when I first started. But this time, I would do things a little differently.

Most recently I have started to openly talk about my mental illnesses.

I have learned a lot more about myself in the last year as far as what my strengths and weaknesses are, how to deal with my struggles, what I want out of this blog, and the kind of person I really are.

What I have also learned is that so. many. others. have read and can relate to my posts regarding mental illness. In fact, my posts about anxiety have received more positive feedback than any other posts that I have ever written.

It is overwhelmingly satisfying to write a post, from the heart, about my real life struggle with anxiety and OCD then have countless women tell me they struggle with the same feelings.

Because of that, I have continued to be open about how I feel. When I am having a hard day, I do not hide behind a perfectly lit instagram photo anymore. I share the struggle that I am having.

This blog is my little corner of the internet to be raw, share real life, and not sugarcoat anything because THAT is what makes me who I am.

Beautiful photos are great to look at, but they don’t always tell you who a person is.

Now that I have been recommitting and posting regularly, I have also started to feel significantly better. I have this virtual diary to get everything out.

In addition to posting regularly, I decided to get back into the influencer aspect of this (despite my previous post about failing at it). There are so many great opportunities to reach others and share amazing brands that I have found along the way. But I have vowed to only work with and share products that I truly love, not just because they asked me to.

There are women out there just like me that seem to genuinely care about what I have to say and I am committed to being more intentional with the things I post while still maintaining my integrity.

Thus, Queen of the Bee Hive has been created.

So, let me take this time to reintroduce myself. I’m Krystle. I’m the twenty-something year old wife of Michael, stay at home mom to Camden + Lilian, dog mom to Tank + Zeke, and domestic COO of the Barnes household. I’m the writer behind Queen of the Bee Hive [a lifestyle blog], a moderator for the #honestmommin instagram account, president of our local MOMS Club chapter, coordinator of eight MOMS Club chapters in the south east region, and newbie influencer. I struggle daily with high functioning anxiety and mild OCD, also with a strong obsession for DD coffee.

I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, blogger, influencer, mental illness sufferer, among so many other things.

My hope is that somewhere along the way you will be able to relate to my words and become an avid reader of this page. I would love to help you speak the words that you may not be able to find.

Thank you for your commitment to me this past year,