It has been twenty-nine years today that I have been living this life.
At 11:37AM on this day in 1989, I was born.
While thirty is considered a milestone year, I like to think that twenty-nine is pretty monumental because this is the last year that I will be able to refer to myself as being in my twenties.
That is kind of huge in my opinion. I consider the twenties to be a decade of growth both internally and externally, emotionally and mentally. At least for me.
In honor of my twenty-nine years of wisdom, I am sharing twenty-nine things that I have learned throughout my life.
1. Allow yourself to enjoy the little things. Such a common thing to hear, but it is true.. the little things in life are really some of the biggest.
2. Find your person. Don’t settle for anything less than everything you want. There is a person out there for you that will hold you up when you’re down, support you in every way that you need, and love you unconditionally. Don’t settle, find them.
3. The ones that you consider family don’t have to be connected by blood. One of my greatest allies in life, a person I am so close to, and love so fiercely, is a woman I met through a MOMS Club. She isn’t family, but to me, she feels like she is and that is what matters.
4. You will never be fully ready for parenthood. If you wait until you’re ready, you’ll never have kids because you can’t fully prepare yourself for all that parenthood requires.
5. Coffee is the route of getting all the things done. I used to drink coffee for fun, to seem sophisticated and now I drink it because it is life.
6. Take vacations. The time that we spend away from home, with or without kids, is the most peaceful. We can really, truly relax without having to worry about what needs to be fixed or cleaned or put away at home.
7. Chase your dreams. If you want to start a blog, grow a following, partner with well known brands, and be a professional blogger – no? Maybe that is just me. But whatever your dreams are, chase them.
8. Love without limits and don’t be afraid to tell people. If you love someone, appreciate someone, feel strongly about someone, etc. TELL THEM. Life is far too short to hold any of your feelings in.
9. Play with your kids. Don’t ever let something small, that doesn’t need to be done right now, get in the way of playing hide + seek or some imaginary game or whatever they are playing. Pretty soon they’ll grow up and be on their way to living their own life.
10. Take control of your mental health. If you are suffering from a mental illness, a suicide thought, an obsessive compulsion, anything – seek help. I urge you to please seek help immediately. You are not alone and there is help out there for you.
11. Self care is so important. I used to feel guilty about doing literally anything for myself, anything at all. I have slowly learned that I am a much better person when I take care of myself.
12. Don’t keep up with the Joneses. It doesn’t matter what anyone else has, how green their grass is, how bright and clean so and so’s instagram feed is. Be happy with your life and if you aren’t happy – figure out how to truly be happy in your own situation.
13. Life is about balance. It is so great to eat healthy and exercise, but it is also so great to enjoy ice cream with your family and spend the day relaxing. Balance is the key to all things.
14. Ask for help. If you want a task done, need a babysitter, think it’d be so much easier if your husband would stop at the grocery store for you instead of taking all of your kids – just ask. You will find that people are usually eager to help and it will make your life a lot easier if you let yourself ask.
15. Listen to music that gives you life. Find a playlist of songs that makes you so blissfully happy and blast it any chance you can. Music instantly makes me feel so much better when I am in a bad mood.
16. Communicate. With everyone. About anything you need it. People cannot read your mind, if you need to talk – talk.
17. Find a hobby. Whether its crafting, running, blogging, beekeeping, whatever it is.. a hobby that you genuinely enjoy will make you feel so content.
18. Let your children have some freedom. My kids make messes when I give them their creative freedom and they love it. I also love to watch their little minds create masterpieces because they were allowed to go wild. Let loose sometimes.
19. That being said, routines are key. We thrive on routines and knowing what comes next in the day. It makes everyone aware of what to expect next without having to argue about it every time.
20. Stop feeling guilty. It is okay to send your children to daycare, to drink coffee while pregnant, to be a working mom or a stay at home mom, to leave a situation you aren’t happy in. You don’t need to feel guilty over every decision you make.
21. Get rid of toxic people. Sometimes people are just toxic in your life no matter what capacity they are in. Rid your life of those people. They will never do anything but bring you down.
22. Take pictures. You won’t get back any of the moments you share with others, while everyone preaches to live in the moment, I think there’s something sweet about having pictures to look back on.
23. Put down the electronics. This sounds like a contradiction but hear me out – there is a time and place for everything. Share a romantic meal with your spouse or read that story to your kids and leave your phone in the other room. Sometimes all that a person needs to feel loved is your undivided attention. Again, balance is key.
24. Declutter. Stop holding onto things that will never bring you joy. Old magazines, notes from high school, scribbled art sent home daycare. You know what is special enough to save, only save that.
25. Stay in touch. We live in a world where others move away so often that sometimes, it is hard to continue to see them. We also live in a world where it is so easy to stay connected in other ways. Do that. Don’t lose relationships over distance. Distance is nothing in the social media world.
26. Buy the dress, shirt, shoes, etc. You will only live once and you cannot take your money with you when you’re gone. I am not telling you blow your life savings, but if the pair of shoes you’ve had your eye on won’t break the bank – buy them. Treat yourself sometimes.
27. Call. Stop texting and emailing everyone. Pick up the phone and call. Direct contact is so uncommon these days but is the most profound form of communication. Speaking in real time makes things so much more intimate.
28. Have as few or as many kids as you want. You may want eight or you may want one. That is your decision and your business. Make the right choice for yourself and your own family then never look back. No one else is paying your bills so no ones opinion matters.
29. Pick your battles. I used to fight with everyone, about everything. If I had an opinion, I would defend it to the death – for no gain whatsoever, just to do it. I have since learned to pick my battles. I have a different opinion about things sometimes and that’s okay. I don’t need to debate or argue or even share my opinion with anyone. Ever. There is nothing to gain from it.
Twenty-nine years. One mother. One stepdad turned stand in father. Three half siblings. Four states of residence. More houses that I can count. Four school districts. Three serious boyfriends. One suicide attempt. Three mental illnesses. One lost grandparent. Multiple lost friends. Countless jobs. One career path. And here we are.
I’m a twenty-nine year old wife to Michael (who is my rock, that I love so deeply) and stay at home mom to Camden (the sweetest, smartest little boy) and Lilian (the fiercest, sassiest, smartest little girl). Lifestyle blog writer, mental health advocate, MOMS Club president + coordinator, micro influencer, Dunkin Donuts most frequent customer, starter of so many projects, with a great family + amazing group of friends. I am thankful and grateful everyday for the life that I get to wake up everyday and live. With the full commitment to my blog and first blog conference coming up, I am hopeful and excited about the future and following my dreams.
What are some of the important lessons you’ve learned in life?
