Self reflection is very important. Knowing what you are doing that is and is not working. Recognizing what you are not doing but probably should be. Putting together a plan of action to make the changes necessary to live your best life.
While looking back on 2018 I made a lot of realizations in regards to myself and my life. Things that I didn’t know then were important. Things that I didn’t know then were hurting me. For myself and my readers, I decided to put together a list of those things here on the my blog. This is allow me to look back and remind myself, plus it might give you some insight to yourself.
Be mindful of your mental health
The past year was a very big one for my mental health. I became a lot more aware of my mental illnesses, one reason being that I was more officially diagnosed. This gave me the ability to accept them, research them, and learn to live with them. Now I know what my limits and triggers are. It is really important to know what helps AND harms your mental health state. Realizing that I don’t handle plans changing or things not going as planned has helped me to get ahead of changes. It has also reminded me that sometimes I just need to PAUSE and understand the new plans in order to move forward. Take your mental health seriously, please.
Rid yourself of toxic relationships
I like to help people. I often feel bad for people and want to help them even when they don’t deserve it, don’t appreciate it, and don’t actually need it. Often times you cannot tell the difference until it’s too late. I went through this on a really personal level this year. A relative and I had a bit of a falling out resulting in a dissolution of the relationship entirely. Even after being betrayed, lied to, and deeply hurt by them I continued to help them in any and every way I could. This person didn’t see it that way and always felt I wasn’t doing enough or doing anything at all. Instead of bending over backwards to pledge my allegiance to them, I decided to remove them from my life. It isn’t easy but it was needed. I couldn’t continue to live my life being made to feel like less because one person felt that I wasn’t doing enough for them.
Giving grace to yourself and others
Accepting that I will not be a picture perfect wife and mom every single day of my life is hard. There are days that are tougher than others. Some days I will remember to do all the things and some days I will forget 90% of those things. It’s okay that I’m not cheerful, patient, and fully rested every moment of the day. Giving myself grace at the end of a longer than normal day, forgiving myself for my short comings, and trying to do better the next time is important. You must remind yourself that you are only one person and you are human. It’s okay to make mistakes. Give grace to others also. You never know what another person may or may not be going through.
Taking time for self care
You read every single day that self care is important. It is. Whether you choose to do something simple like take a shower or something major like spend the day at the spa. Make sure that you make yourself a priority too. This is going to sound cliche, but you really, truly cannot pour from an empty cup. I have made it a point to spend more time with my girlfriends, schedule time to pay attention to my hair and nails, and even sitting down to write more blog posts. Whatever makes me feel more like me.
Make your relationship a priority
My husband works a very demanding schedule which leaves little to no time for date nights. We were determined to still manage time together, somehow. This year was the year that we started to make weekly lunch dates + monthly spa dates a priority. It sometimes requires that I drive close to an hour for our dates, but it is worth it to be able to spend time with my husband. Just he and I. No work, no home responsibilities, no toddlers pulling on our legs for more snacks. It’s key for your marriage that you make each other a priority in some way or another.
There is plenty more that I learned in 2018, but these are the five key lessons that stand out overall. Did you learn anything new in last year that you may not have known before? I’d love to hear!
